Bo Go Bling Blang

ANNOUNCER: WELCOME BACK TO THE BO GO BLING BLANG SHOW! THANK U FOR JOINING US TONITE, IT IS 11 44 AS BO AND I SIGN IN WITH YOU! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERES BO!
me (bo): hello everyone. tonite was the best nite ever, until now. 11 44, the boring hour. ah yes. anyways, i shall tak about the nite, and we will be having a special guest with us too! dan (announcer) do u kno who’s joining us today?

ANNOUNCER: NO BO, WHO IS IT? -WINK WINK-

me: u dont know? well then who did we book?

ANNOUNCER: OH NEVERMIND! IT’S YOUR FRIEND JOSH! REMEMBER YOU–

me: thank you dan! yes i remember! JOSH COME ON IN! -picks up clipboard and waves over to the seat next to me as doors open-

josh (my best friend)-hi bo, wats up?

me: hi joshi! would you tell our audience what happened earlier tonite?

-i look out at the crowd, and see cobwebs on velvet seats- -fake appluause-

josh: earlier? -he scratches head- oh rite! well, our school had a dance outside on our big yard tonite. it went from 5 to 8 pm, and the theme was fifties.

me: yea, thanks josh! so fifties, u guys remember? poodle skirts? pink ladies? leggings? lol. fifties is so much fun, and Grease and Grease 2 our the best ways to view the fifties. there were so many nice songs.

ANNOUNCER: BO, HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO DESCRIBE THE DANCE?

me: shut up dan! so josh, tell us, wat did u do?

josh: well i hung out in the football field most of the time with my friends justin 1 and 2 and justin 2′s cousin. we played volleyball and then tackled each other. it was cool

me: wat else did u do?

josh: visited u and ka–

-slaps josh on back hard-

josh: ka–i mean ur friends.

me: yes and i was mostly on the dance floor, dancing my butt off. i danced to the froggy song, hamster dance, hey now hey now, u wanna say now song, last dance, wat a wonderful world, and lots more. joshi, wat did we do during wat a wonderful world?

josh: aww….do i have to say?

me: BEAUTIFUL DAY! – U2!!!!! sorry wat did u say josh?
josh: do i have to say?

me: well duh..

josh: -sigh- fine. me and bo slow danced to wat a wonderful world. just as friends, no matter wat the posture was.

me: we were laughing the whole time, bumping into people. i told him to keep his hands on my waist. the DJ told us to get off the dance floor or dance like we were in love…lol.

josh: pretty much yea.

me: i also played volleyball had my all-time favorite, cheeseburgers, root beer floats, sprite (NO CAFFIENE! ARE YOU PROUD?)

josh: yes im so proud.

me: shut up. im still mad that u hardly danced.

ANNOUNCER: DANCED?
me: yea this guy can dance! he said he ‘forgot his moves’ but i dont believe him. u should see him, joshi is so good at break dancing, its not funny. lol.

ANNOUNCER: YET UR LAUGHING
me: put a sock in it danny (lol danny, u kno danny? from grease? …oh forget it)

josh: eh..um heh heh? anyways, yea tonite was cool.

me: totally! last song was LAST DANCE! i sang to that wat, and i lost my voice. im proud of myself.

josh: good job bo, good job. -he pats me on the back-

me: c’mere and ILL GIVE U A PAT!
josh: oo fiesty..

me: shut up buddy boy.

josh: fine fine. anyways people, thanks for watching the B.G.B.B show! we all appreciate it!
me: HEY THATS MY LINE! -tackles josh-

josh: -tackles me back-

me: -punches josh-

josh: -slaps me-

ANNOUNCER: THANK YOU FOR WATCHING! WE ARE SIGNING OUT AND IT IS 12 AM! HAPPY SATURDAY EVERYONE! BO AND JOSH AND ME AND THE CREW APPRECIATE YOU FOR WATCHING! NOW LETS DUST OUT THOSE COBWEBBED CHAIRS AND GET SOME BUTTS ON THEM HUH? OKAY, WE’LL SEE YOU SOON! THANKS AGAIN!

SCREEN GOES BLACK. NOTHING SHOWS. THEN IN WHITE WRITING IT SAYS:

THANK YOU FOR WATCHING B.G.B.B. WE ALL APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU DO NOT WATCH THIS AGAIN,

YOU WILL LEAD A MISERABLE LIFE, BEING HAUNTED BY THE

APPLAUSE OF BO’S SHOW.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

then TV is off.

Its Currently 11:00 PM AS I AM WRITING THIS TITLE. Idk Wat tuh DO.

i liked dawns idea of the dawn show.

so ima make a bo go bling blang show…

here we go:

dudewhotalks(dht): WELCOME BACK RO BO GO BLING BLANG AKA BGBB SHOW..HEEEEEEEEEEERES BO!

-fake applause from sound effects thingie in backstage-

me (bo): Hello, friends, and welcome back. HOWZ THE NITE GOIN?! MORNING’S ALMOST HERE! SO LETS TALK ABOUT SCHOOL.

-fakes boos-

me: aw, come now. school aint so bad…i mean hello?? cute boys, awesome girls…

-no response-

me: aha, i made a true point. mwahahahaha. ok lets get on with this. tomorrow, most grade schools start. so i thought, wat the dr. pepper! i should just talkz aboutz dis.

-again silence-

me: hey, dude who talks. yea u, wheres my sound effects?

dwt: backstage?

me: i ask the questions here, buddy. not u, u answer them. so moving on. HEY EVERYONE KNOWS EDUCATION AND HOT BOYS R IMPORTANT RITE?

-applause-

me: I KNEW IT. ok, lemme have someone from the audience. come on any volunteers? anyone? hmmm? fine, dude who talks, come on down, i kno ur dying to.

dwt: wat? i didnt even say anything!

me: ahahah! I ASK THE Q’S. NOW GET DOWN HERE.

dwt: fine…HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERES SCOTT! ALSO KNOWN AS ME!

me: oh so ur names scott? i wasnt told.

scott: sure sure, so watre the q’s.

me: so when do u start school?

scott: tomorrow.

me: any girls ya like?

scott: ….wellll…..

-i lean in real close and flash my million-dollar-worth smile, (it took weeks for it to be that white)-

scott: fine fine. yes her names ariel. she had brown hair and warm blue eyes and perfect pink lips, a great neck, visible collar bone, strong shoulder, plenty of muscle, her b–

me: OKAAAAAY!! scott wonderful description. SHES A KEEPER, EH?
scott: oh yes. i met her at the remedial pre-calc class.

me: ummm ur not that smart iz u?

scott: no i was teaching the class.

me: so ariel was ur TA?

scott: no she was taking the class.

me: thinks: sounds like shes an idiot. wow, thats awesome.

scott: i invited her here. shes supposed to be in the audience somewhere.

-doors suddenly open-

girl says in high and girly voice: SCOTTY!

scott: AIR!

me: thinks: air? WELCOME TO THE BO GO BLING BLANG!

supposedly ariel: o.m.g.! scotty, u werent lying!

me: lying? LYING?! SCOTT LYING?!

scott: easy, bo. easy. *he whispers: remember, ariel was taking remedial pre calc, and shes 17…*

me: *whispers: yup shes a keeper*

ariel: ooo secrets! are they funny?

me: wat does humor have to do with secrets?

ariel: wats humor??

me: wow.

ariel: i kno arent i….puh….puh….scotty, wats that word that means i look nice?

scott: pretty, air. pretty.

ariel: rite! i kno arent i pretty?

me: im going to need a big cup of water…

scott: trina will get it for u. TRINA!
ps, trina is the backstage assistant

ariel: o.m.g. U MUST BE BO!
me: says sarcastically, NO! I AM?!

ariel: YEA IM PRETTY SURE!

me: uh huh..

-ariel sits next to me and starts talking stupidly-

ariel: so wat do u do for living?

me: i do this talk show at nite when its late and im bored and i also study biology and i take words from my soul and put them on parchment and make it something that u hav never heard before.

-ariel nods as i talk-

ariel: ….wat?

me: i go on here and talk -moves hands in talking motion- when moon is up -points up at moon- and IM -points at self- bored. i read -looks down at pages of book- about ANIMALS -picks up stuffed dog- and write -scribbles in air- stories like cinderella.

ariel: ooo, pretty! -she claps her hands joyfully-

scott: air, r u enjoying this? -gives me my water-

ariel: ooo yes scotty…very much!

me: -groans- so lets go on. ariel, how many times have u gone into remedial pre-calc?

ariel: wats pre-calc? is it the numbers and little hav cirlcy thingies?

me: ummm…yea

ariel: ohh then yes! ive been taking it for.. -counts on fingers- umm…wat comes after three?

me: four

ariel: for? wat do u mean for? wats for who?

me: nooo FOUR. the NUMBER. COMES AFTER THREE!

ariel: ohhh….rite -counts again- ive been taking the number class thing for 5 years. -she smiles broadly-

scott: ariel is very special *whispers, shes stupid* -he wraps his arms around ariel and kisses her cheek-

me: OKAAAY lets not get intimate in here, eh? *whispers back, yea shes an idiot*

ariel: in-tah-mett? wat does in-tah-mett mean?

me: nevermind that. scott, y dont u ask ariel some questions

scott: okay. so ariel, how old are u.

ariel: i dont have 10 fingers, and i kno im older than 10.

scott: u can use mine too.

ariel: thanks, scotty. -looks at her fingers and scotts- im…seven….teen?

scott: yes, very good.

ariel: thanks, ur a good teacher.

scott: i try my best.

me: -makes secret sick face-

ariel: ooo umm…A HIPPO!
me: huh?

ariel: ur acting like a hippo!
me: umm i wasnt acting like an animal…

ariel: but u look like a hippo! ur so fat!

me: -GASP- SCOTT GET HER OUT!
ariel: out?

scott: ariel u dont say someones fat to their face

me: SCOTT GET HER OUT

scott: ariel, i heard ummm johnny depp was across the street.

ariel: o.m.g.! bye, scott, bye bo. -kisses scott passionately-

me: -gets trash can and throws up, drinks water, and smiles insincerely at ariel-

-doors slam close-

scott: isnt she a beauty?

me: oh yea….gorgeous….

scott: -sigh- i kno…-smiles and looks like hes gonna cry-

me: dont worry scott! she’ll get smarter….maybe….not really….probablynot….um no….

scott: watever -he goes back to his announcing stand-

me: ok, well, im thankful for ariel’s businnes…sorta…kinda…not really….watever. THANK U ARIEL!
-i press boo button-

me: oops my bad…

scott: THIS CONCLUDES OUR FIRST EVER BO GO BLING BLANG SHOW! THANK U FOR WATCHING! WE HOPE ITS A HIT!

me: GOODNITE EVERYBODY! SLEEP TIGHT, DONT LET THE BED BUGS BITE! SWEET DREAMS!

scott: AAAAAAAAAAAAND WERE OUT!

TV shuts down, blank screen, then message shows:

THANK YOU FOR WATCHING B.G.B.B. BO AND THE CREW APPRECIATE IT. YOU WILL BE SHUNNED FOREVER IF YOU DO NOT CONTINUE TO WATCH THIS WORK OF ART. THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT.